


Remember me

by H4NGS4NG



Category: IT (1990), IT - Stephen King
Genre: 1990s, Adult Losers Club (IT), Bisexual Richie Tozier, Canon - IT (Book/Movie/Miniseries Combination), Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Miniseries Eddie Kaspbrak, Miniseries Richie Tozier, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Canon, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, mentions of depression, miniseries reddie deserves more recognition
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:48:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27094567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H4NGS4NG/pseuds/H4NGS4NG
Summary: After the incident in Derry Richie starts to forget everything again even the parts he doesn’t want to forget, little does he know is just a perfect chance for him to heal and start over..Or Richie forgets about the losers and even Eddie and meets this blonde man that looks very familiar to him.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 5





	Remember me

**Author's Note:**

> I’m planning on doing a long fic so I hope you like it.  
> Also this is a mix between the movies the series and even the book so it’s got a little bit of everything.

**No one who dies in Derry ever really dies...**

All of the losers went back to where they came from. Well no, not all of them. Sometimes he forgot about that, it drove him mad that he could forget that his Eddie was gone. You’d think that after what they’ve been through together he’d have him stuck in his head grieving his friend. Like any proper human being would, but not Richie, he just couldn’t process the fact that his best friend from childhood was there with him again and not even a few days later he was gone. It was like none of it had happened. Like IT never happened. But it did, it’s just that Richie never accepted it. 

The losers... yeah they were his friends from childhood, he used to play with them in the barrens.

“I think that if I tried I could fit you right in my pocket Eds” he teasingly grabbed his head and messed up his perfectly polished hair that his mother would meticulously brush with too much gel, knuckles scrapping his scalp “cute, cute, cute”.

“Let go of me!!You are ruining my hair. And don’t call me Eds you know I hate it when you call me that”.

Eds... Eddie. Eddie Casanova, no that’s not right, Kaspbrakyeah, he lives in Boston with his mother, and and- he has his own company I think . I know that because...

“Richie Tozier you are up in 5” The voiced resonated throughout the studio interrupting his thoughts, not that he had that many recently you know? ever since he came back he’s been doing things almost on autocontrol, he was like a puppet that had an invisible puppeteer. He’s been very busy lately, doing talk shows and presentations. You see it’s awards season so who better to present than the one an only Richie Tozier. Having LA at the palm of his hand, he was living his best life. Yeah. His best life, he went to parties, hang out with celebrities, hooked up with some of those celebrities and went home with alcohol in his veins almost enough to make him intoxicated to the point of hospitalization. He never got to that point. Not since his last overdose. But enough about the past, why not focus on the present.

“because Richie” said a voice in his head, not particularly good or bad, but it wasn’t him “you’re all alone now”

No I’m not he thought, I have friends colleagues, I- “ _then why do you feel the need to fill that hole in your chest with every poison you encounter, why do you get star-trucked with every petite blond chick you see on the streets, what about your male coworkers, they look very familiar. I can go on, deeper if you might , oh yeah, deep even deeper than under the sewers, you remember what happened down there don’t you?”_

“You ok? Richie, Richie! Are you even listening to me?” His manager asked. He was now stuck under their weekly reunions with corporate. His manager, some of their new writers, and producers from the studio. When the fuck did he get there.

“Yeah yeah” he brushed it off “just been having this migraines that are killing me man, nothing better that your body reminding you that good ol’ papa Hollywood has been sucking your blood for the past ten years or so and now you just taste as bitter as Henry over there after he has sex with his wife every Saturday afternoon!” He winks at him.

“Fuck you dude” he snaps back.

“Yep, he’s alright” Steve says “Ok so where was I.. The SNL thing right. So I booked you a flight for next week. I need you at the airport on Thursday at 4pm, we still have some stuff to do before. The Clarence Clemons interview and dinner with the TJ brothers. I’ll send you the schedule tonight so you can have it already. I guess that’s everything for today folks. We’ll see each other the 23th then”

They take turns to shake hands with everyone and leave the building. There is an awkward silence while in the elevator.The amount of people gathered in such a tiny space should be illegal. you know how many diseases you could catch there? It’s like licking the pavement of the middle of times square and expecting it to be clean

They walk to the parking lot in silence, it’s creepy down here he feels trapped like in jail, he suddenly feels an urge to run and climb up his Ford Mustang like in the movies and get the fuck out of there. But he can’t, not yet.

“Richie..” Steve cuts the silence. Richie doesn’t answer he just lights a cigarette hanging between his lips as if he have had this conversation for the past fifteen years or so. “I know what you think I’m gonna say, but I’m not an asshole, I’m just-“ exhales. “This is not like the last time rich, last time at least you could go to rehab. Whatever happened back there I don’t need know I don’t wantto know, but I just want to make sure you can let it go and go back to where we were 3 months ago, before you disappeared for a week and came back like a whole different person.”

He still doesn’t say anything, Steve can tell he’s frowning under his sunglasses, not from what he’s saying but from staring hardly at his car, longing to be alone in bed and his bottle of scotch in the nightstand beside it.

“Me and my team did everything to get you out of the trials in Maine, the money you spent to keep it from the press won’t be enough if you keep in touch with the rest of them.” Now THAT has got his attention, and seemed like Steve noticed too the change in expression “ I know you still talk to that bill Denbrough the one that had his brother die youn-“ he said rather cautiously.

“Murdered” cut him “ he was murdered”

“Jesus Richie. Fuck. Forget what I just said” He seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but there. well that makes two of usRichie thought.

“Look, whatever I can do to help just tell me, maybe someone you can talk to, call your therapist again, I don’t know if he’s still in LA but I can work it out, you could-“

“I just need some time Steve” he took his glasses and pinched the corners of his eyes, it sounded rather annoyed but he preferred that than having him notice the tears threatening to spill for the first time after what happened.

“I’ll tell you what” he sounded like a first grade teacher and he was one word away from bursting into tears in a parking lot but instead took another cigarette “After New York I can do some calls give you at least three weeks before you start shooting ‘Cheers’ again. Or would you rather cancel everything now? “

“No! I-I’ll go to New York” no I don’t want to go actually “after that cancel the dates in Jersey I need some time to...” to what Richie? Grieve? Accept what happened? Accept yourself? “I could use the time to rest.” He finished his cigarette and approached his car.

“And Steve...” said in a serious tone

“Mhm?”

“Fuck you” he grinned, and with that trailed off.

asshole he murmured whatever happened to Richie Tozier must have been really bad.Of all the crazy clients he had in Hollywood since he chose his career path Richie was really something else. He wasn’t depressed no. He was like a kid. A kid that had to grow up sooner than expected. Not the Trashmouth I know. This was a man whose life was not /his anymore.

* * *

It’s not like he was forgetting like the last time, this was not because of It, or not ENTIRELY because of It. This was also just him, all the trauma he’s been bottling up just did it for him. There are some things that are better left forgotten. Because the pain that carries through those memories are to much to bare. He knows what happened to Eddie deep down he knows... but his mind won’t let him go through those excerpts of his memory. Everything is blank from the moment he stepped foot in the house on Neibolt until he came back to LA.

It happened at 7.45 on a rainy morning at the Pierre hotel when Richie decided to shave off his iconic mustache right after his daily shower. After that he spent a whole ten minutes staring at himself through the mirror.He hoped the change would turn to make him look younger, and in some aspects it did, but he was tired, he didn’t look 37 anymore. His ginger hair lost its shine, it was close to an ashy brown with some strands of copper. The thought of himself as a young boy with face full of freckles and vibrant hair made him wanna throw up, and he did. Holding tightly into the bathroom seat he just let it all out. Not only that but he started crying. Wether it was from the force of the vomit or something else, he quickly recomposed and brushed his teeth as quickly as he could.

The makeup artists would have a lot to work on today.

A limo was slowly parking in front of the big crystal doors, ready to trail off again. Richie was already waiting outside smoking a cigarette, despite the impression, he needed fresh air.

He didn’t even wait for the driver to get out and open the door, he just wanted to get it over with. Besides what was this all about? Didn’t Steve trust him to drive by himself? Now that he thinks about it, it was probably a good call, he can’t even trust himself.

Now back with his comedian mask.

“Hello there, sorry to get in like that, you know formalities aren’t really my thing, I ain’t no lady to have my door opened, that sounded weird sorry. Richie Tozier, nice to meet you.” He leans to the driver seat to shake his new driver’s hand when he sees it. Blonde ashy hair, beautiful messy waves in the front. He’s wearing a dark red vest on top of a black turtleneck . His glasses reflecting his own image and he’s so overwhelmed by the man in front of him that he can barely hear him respond.

“No worries” he smiles now looking at him deep into his eyes “Edward Kaspbrak sir, nice to meet you too” he waits until the man backs away first to start the route. “So from what I have in the itinerary You should be at the Fens Studio by 9am, If you need me to do a change of route just say so and I’ll take you to whatever place you need sir.”

“Richie” he says in a low voice.

“I’m sorry sir? I didn’t quite hear that” he exchanges a brief glance trough the mirror.

“You can call me Richie, it’s okay”

“Oh right, my apologies I forgot you say you didn’t like those types of formalities”. He smiles nervously.

“It’s okay Eds” he whispers almost,smiling to himself, unaware of the nickname he had almost prepared for him. _I am so fucked I don’t even remember when I managed to buy the drugs, much less take them, or perhaps the drinks I had last night didn’t leave my blood system yet...weird, but why do if feel like I’ve known you before, it feels like I’ve spent a life time with you, maybe in another life_ a sudden wave of sadness and melancholy invades him and he just stays quiet looking trough the window.

“Hm Eddie is okay, that’s how everyone calls me at least.”

_I know him I know I do, there’s something about him that is weirdly familiar_

They fall into an uncomfortable silence until he arrives to his destination.

“We are here Si- Richie”

“I do know you”

“Excuse me?”

“ I-I’m sorry I mean I feel like I know you, have we met before?” He tries to lean forwards, to get closer, but the other just backs away slightly, a perfectly polite rejection.

“I don’t think so... I mean I would know if a had a famous friend.” He smiles robotically.

“My apologies..Well Um I’ll go now... will I see you after this?”

“Of course sir the limo will still be waiting for you by the time you finish “

“Right, haha sorry... I’ll go fuck myself then. See you later Eddie Spaghetti ” and with that he quickly gets out glancing and getting a shy kinda embarrassed smile from the guy. And fuck he’s beautiful.

Eddie Spaghetti~

Edward, Eds, Eddie... He had a childhood friend named similar, was it him? Or maybe a friend from his old times as a DJ when his name was slowly spreading trough the city as the funny young not so gentleman “trashmouth” or perhaps one of his drunks hookups back in 87’ those were wild times for him. No sure he’d remember someone like him.

The meeting at the studio was dull, he couldn’t concentrate much having the image of the limo driver in his head the entire time.

But he did hear something about a new book adaptation coming out and that they might consider him for a roleWhat was it called again? The Attic something? Anyways, he just wanted to get back to that cute little guy waiting for him outside.

Jesus kid get a grip you sound like a prepubescent teen

He was waiting outside hand in the door handle like if he’d been waiting the entire time, had he?

“Long time no see Spaghetti man!”

“Hello to you too Richie.” He’s doing that fake smile again, well not fake just part of his work. Of course! He doesn’t know him and he must probably think he’s a stuck up celebrity with a superiority complex.

“So where are we headed now Eds?”

"Eddie” says rolling his eyes. Cute. “Well you tell me Richie I just follow orders”

“Right, well I don’t know about you buddy but I haven’t even had breakfast and I’m starving, do you know any place around here?”

“Sure do sir, I mean Richie. Anything in particular you’d like?”

“I’d rather let you choose darling, bet you know more about New York than I do.”

“Well there is a Korean place not so far from your hotel, it’s not exactly a luxurious restaurant but... it’s nice I guess” he shrugs.

“I’m a simple man” And now Eddie actually laughs but stops quickly trying to focus on the road.”oh you don’t think so?”

“Oh no I do think so, a simple man wandering through the big city in a simple limousine”

“Ha! Eddie gets off a good one!” He rolls back wheezing. “I’ll give you that!” After he recomposes a little, he continues “So, Eds tell me about yourself“

“Um well what would you like to know?”

“Well I don’t know, do you have a family? How long have you been working in this humble business?

“Actually this is my business, I own the company” he says rather with an air of pride “I’m mostly behind the desk but once in a while I like to go back to the wheels and meet the celebrities, usually the ones that are actually big”

“So do you consider me a top A list celebrity then?”

“You don’t?”

“To be honestI think I’m just an asshole who happen to get lucky in the entertainment industry”

“Exactly, like any other big celebrity around here”

Now they both bust in an uncontrollable laughter.

“Fuck man I think you should’ve been the comedian, I’m dying back here”

“Please don’t I could get into serious trouble if you actually do” he says completely serious making eye contact trough the mirror. And they start laughing again.

After he recomposes a little, he clears his throat “Okay. we are here sir”

“Oh, um you’ll wait for me while I just go to eat?” He haven’t even noticed the car stopped.

“Yes sir is there a problem?”

“Richie“ they’re facing each other now,

“Sorry, Richie”

“Would you mind accompanying me? Or do you still think I’m another of those assholes you drive around? He feels so small right now.

“I don’t mind at all”

“Great! Now wait here, just a second”

“Wha-“ he gets out of the car quickly and opens the front door for him.

“Now we’re even Spaghetti man”

“Well I must say Richie Tozier is not like any other celebrity I’ve ever met” A warm smile spreads trough his face.

“Shall we..?” He gestures like he’s escorting the Queen of England and Eddie just chuckles embarrassed, cheeks red as a tomato.

Side by side he can tell: the height difference, he’d always felt like tall clumsy giant before he got relatively famous, after that he kinda learned how to dress properly and be confident in his own body, but now he’s back to that awkward young boy he once was.

A few people take a quick glance at them and whisper. Others are just too busy with their steaks.

Another thing he could tell was how good he smelled, it was intoxicating, kinda like a mixture of minty and woody notes.

-This place is awesome.

-I know.

-What are those things hanging from the ceiling?.

-Ah, those are fans for every grill that’s in the table, here you can grill your own meat, and I think is really cool-He shrugs nonchalantly.

They sit at the end of the room a little far away from the rest of the people there in hopes of a little more privacy.

They choose to eat bulgogi as Eddie recommended although Richie just wanted to pick the dish with the weirdest name on it and go with that.

“So how do you know this place?”

“I just found it on accident, I was on sort of a date with someone and we stumbled upon it while walking through the city.” He’s trying to flip the meat in the grill with his chopsticks but fails miserably.”Anyways she didn’t want to go in but few days later I tried it myself on a break after work”

“Wait so you’re dating a chick?”He tries not to look surprised but, he really got his hopes up for nothing, what an idiot.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He’s kinda offended and rightfully so.

“Chill I’m just messing with you kid” and he leans a little to mess with his beautiful curls. He backs away annoyed but with his cheeks red, although he can’t really tell if is the heat of the place or him.

“What about you?”

“Me? “

“Yeah, are you liking your staying here in New York?” Again with that politeness.

“I don’t know yet, I haven’t really had the time to go sightseeing, I guess I never really do” they fall into a comfortable silence.

“I- I can show you around if you’d like? Not now of course we have a full schedule for today but after that I could recommend you some places.

He’s straight and taken, agreed to be here with him probably because he didn’t want to be rude and now he’s being a tourist guide for him, fuck Richie why can’t you do one thing good. This poor guy is probably too nice to tell him to fuck off.

“Yeah... I’d think about it. Hey I’m ready to go if you don’t mind.”

“Oh yes of course, I’m sorry I wasn’t aware of the time”, he cleans the corners of his mouth with such elegance that he just stares like an idiot.

“It’s okay I just want to get it over with.”

The atmosphere is heavier now but he must not drop his mask, even if he just wants to go back to his hotel and get high or just drink till he falls asleep.

Wait. Why is he feeling so depressed? Was he always like this or did something happen like Steve told him? What exactly happened back then? He should tell B- he should call his friend...? He swears he was talking with some guy lately, an old friend. Did he?

“Richie are you okay” after his second meeting he goes back to the car obviously not as talkative nor excited as before.

“Yeah yeah, just got myself thinking, it ain’t happen often pal” he tried to joke but all he gets is a pitiful smile. After a few hours of shooting in the studio as a special guest, it’s already 10pm and finally he’s free to go.

“Where now to sir?”

“Just take me back to my hotel I’m beat for the day kid.” He lit a cigarette and just get lost watching the passing lights.

“Alright” after a few minutes he tries to get his attention “You know, I did think you looked familiar when I first saw you”

“You did?”

“Yeah, not now but the first time, I think you where on a comedy show doing some tricks and you remind me of this kid I used to go with in elementary school, he was such a goof and fun to be around with, I don’t remember the boy now but I do know he was funny as hell, or at least that’s what 11 year old me thought”

“Huh”

“What?”

“Nothing. I’d say I could be that kid but I was just annoying and really loud my friends had to literally shut me up”

“But yeah I did found you familiar but it’s weird to say that to a celebrity isn’t it? It’s not like we’ve actually crossed paths before.”

“Right”

“This is it”

“Hm?”

He points at the hotel entrance.

“Oh right, sorry I’m so tired I barely noticed. “So this is it then, see you tomorrow? “

“Same place same time sir”

“Richie”

“Sorry”

“Don’t be. Goodnight Eds”

“Eddie”

“Sorry. Goodnight Eddie”

“Goodnight Richie “


End file.
